We all do
everything to avoid pain and attain pleasure. Whether we want to have an awesome and accepting partner in a relationship, more money or a healthy,
strong and sexy body.
But very few
are willing to give their time, money (especially money) or energy in exchange
for what they want and more importantly, give up on certain relationships, jobs
or businesses or our very own self destructive habits.
“It’s never
a question of what you are getting back, but it is imperative that you realize
what you are giving out.” –Ankush Modawal
In the August
of 2008, my life was down in the dumps. I was absolutely broke. I used to wake
up feeling lousy and didn’t have the energy to face the day. My relationship with
the girl I loved more than myself was totally fucked up because I had recently found
out that she was cheating on me.
I wanted to
end this abusive relationship but was too scared to let go. Even though I wanted
more money, I didn’t do shit about it. Even though I wanted to feel more
healthy and vibrant, I drank like a pirate and smoked like a chimney.
I used to
blame each and every person I met. Life had been really cruel and all the bad
luck in the world was following me like my own shadow!
Then, something
changed.
For those
who don’t know the story of my life and haven’t read the autobiography of my
life so far (Blue Book) in which I have revealed a lot of my secrets and things
I was too ashamed to even talk about, I will tell you about the day my life
changed.
On 11th
August 2008, my sister and her husband dragged me along with them to a new mall
and because my sister at that was pregnant with my now very naughty nephew, I somehow lugged my cadaver to the mall because I knew that my presence
would make my sister happy.
I was
bored there and angry because everyone around me was happy, and I wasn't!
So, I decided
to pass my time in a bookstore. I came across a book which for some reason I found
interesting but I kept it back on the shelf. Then for some reason, I picked it
up again. Then kept it back only to pick it up again.
I flipped through it and
wanted to buy it but I thought to myself, it’s too expensive and I will buy it
later when I have more money. I started to walk away and exited out of the book store.
“If you are
too cheap to invest in yourself, you are already paying a really great price
that you can’t afford to pay.” –Ankush Modawal
Then
something very freaky happened which had never happened before. A voice inside
of me screamed these exact words, “Buy the book Ankush.”
I rushed
back inside the book store, somehow I felt elated to see that nobody had took
away or bought the book I had barely left behind 10 seconds back. I picked it
up (my precious), rushed to the payment counter, emptied out my wallet and
somehow, I felt proud of myself because after a very long time, I had chosen a different choice and had behaved differently than how I usually had been behaving all my life.
That book
changed my entire life and till this day, I get goose bumps thinking about if I
had not listened to my inner voice that day, I would still be just a useless
slob instead of being an author of 5 books and all that I am today.
When I thought
about it, over the period of time, I have realized that every time shit went
down or people were horrible to me, or that someone swindled me, I WAS ALWAYS
THERE! The common denominator in the string of ill fated events was always me!
From being
nothing to everything I ever dreamed of. That journey has taught me that so
many times, I had already passed up on opportunities, books, seminars, people,
places and so many more things that would lead me to my dream life.
“I was, I am
and always will be the biggest cause of failure and success in my life.” –AnkushModawal
From being
envious of all the people who were really living a great life to becoming one
who does now, I remember and laugh at myself that while I was envious of those
who pampered and treated themselves to the best life had to offer, I once had
to think twice about buying a 295/- rupee book.
Of course,
now I realize that all of that was my own self sabotaging behavior and I always
put the blame on others. But the only thing I didn’t do was to read, listen or
see what the Universe was telling me through my feelings.
Sure, we all
want to take out life to the next level and want to bring positive changes to
it, but that will only happen when you take the next step. The question I have
for you is, when will you take it? Sometimes, the answer can be staring us right back at our faces, you just have to see that it is.
Share this with your friends and loved ones if you liked what I shared with you.
“You are the
centre of your own Universe.” –Ankush Modawal
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