Goodshit: April 2012

I was the unluckiest guy I knew. Things never worked out for me. I used to struggle and tried to keep up with the shit that I kept attracting every single day of my life.

One day, I got so sick and tired of living such a crappy life that in complete desperation, I said to God, “I don’t know what fucking lesson you are trying to teach me but I give up!”

"You are bound to stand out when you spread your light."-Ankush Modawal

A miracle happened right after I uttered those words. I felt a calm, soothing and tingling sensation wash over me. I felt happy, the pain in my body just vanished and everything appeared more beautiful.

Once, I gave up my love for struggle and stopped expecting shit to happen to me, truly amazing ‘coincidences’ happened that just delivered things that I wanted, right into my lap.

Let me tell you one thing, when I began to change and live a more positive lifestyle, I pissed a lot of people off.

Especially my ‘friends.’

“I thought you were one of us,” they said.

“I am,” I told them.

I didn’t know at that time that I wasn’t. I had changed.

Needless to say, the harder I tried to accommodate and keep my friendship alive with some childhood buddies of mine, the more problems I manifested in my life.

“All my friends told me, I had changed and that’s why they had a problem with me while my problem was that they hadn’t.” –Ankush Modawal

My relationship at the time with the love of my life was completely down the drain. I needed emotional support but I got none.

Emotional support not in the form of positivity, I was already pretty positive but I wanted them to give up their negativity.

It was like mixing oil with water.

They were so enveloped in their negative and childish beliefs about the world that despite my best efforts, I could not ‘rescue’ them. It was as if they were stuck in quicksand and the more I tried to pull them out of it, the more I sunk as well!

It was as if they didn’t want to adopt a better lifestyle and wanted to remain in their victim ‘poor me’ mentality. I in turn began to hold a grander vision for my life. I tried to teach them how to manifest better things for themselves, but I ‘failed.’

For a long time, I felt bad and guilty of not being to help them. Until I realized that they didn’t want to be helped.

Let me tell you one thing, it might even seem cruel.

“The biggest mistake we can ever make in our lives is to try to teach someone something for which they are not ready for. It’s like talking to a stone and expecting it to hug you after you've poured your heart out. You’ll just get frustrated, drained and all the ‘failed’ efforts on your part will eventually make you doubt your own abilities.” –Ankush Modawal

Don’t try to ‘fix’ someone. Anyone.

I know I used to, I still get the temptation to do that, especially when I see people who I am close to commit certain mistakes which I know will eventually harm them. I know it hurts like Hell to see someone you care about cry.

But unless they listen, I would say grab a tub of popcorn, sit back and enjoy the show, while they crash and burn. Or if you are feeling particularly ‘noble,’ you too can choose to crash and burn with them, but that’s just plain stupidity.

It’s like someone close to you has a life threatening disease so you say, “Hey, my loved one has Cancer so I should have that too!” or something as crazy as, “My friend jumped from a 50 storey building and since we are best buddies, I will do it too.”

I know you must be laughing your ass off right now thinking how funny this is, but I think at some point in our life, we all do this kind of shit to ourselves. Hell, at least, I did!

“You can never help anyone by being helpless yourself.” –Ankush Modawal

Ambition is scary to your ‘loved ones’ because a majority of people have major insecurities. It is just and always up to you to decide how much emotional abuse you can take. How many challenges you want to overcome with the same people? How many times you want to forgive the same person? What about your feelings?

“Don’t try to fix someone’s life to the extent that it fucks up yours.” –Ankush Modawal

Change happens on a cellular level. When you change, your world changes, but it is folly to expect that everyone changes as well along with you, that too immediately.

“When you take flight, don’t be surprised if you find yourself soaring alone for a while, but you can be sure that you will meet a few who dared to leave the comfort of the ground as well.” –Ankush Modawal

Your world becomes different, obviously it will because when you change the vibration you put out, it will attract completely different things from the Universe.

Don’t expect to keep the same attitudes, people and perceptions in your life because they will only bring what they have always brought you.

I used to have an issue with this fact but now, I have made peace with this demon of mine. Take 100% responsibility of your life. Only the people who hold the same type of thinking as yours can be present in it. Don’t try to drag them along with you because they will gladly come on their own if they want to.

If you are a positive person and you have a negative partner, friend or someone who you are close to, hanging on to them is like throwing yourself in a put full of hungry crocodiles. I know and completely agree that it hurts first, but it's better than to be hurt every day.

I bet you wouldn't want to jump here, right?

“True enlightenment is when what used to make you cry once, now when you think about it, makes you laugh at your own stupidity.” –Ankush Modawal

I have met some great people in my life. I am grateful for the part they have played. I am even aware of the possibility that those who exist today in my life, might not in the near future.

"Surrender and be willing to be carried by the strong winds of change. The higher you go, the smaller you seem to those on the ground and the pettier they seem to you, until a point where you won’t be able to see or comprehend each other.” -Ankush Modawal