Friday, June 3, 2011

Leave Him Alone - What every woman should know about her guy

“You care for a guy by not caring for him!” –Ankush Modawal

If you are a girl and have a guy in your life, leave him alone! Contrary to what you might think, if you leave a guy alone while he is working or working out his emotional issues, he will absolutely love and respect you for that.

When a girl is going through a rough phase in her life, she needs someone she can talk her feelings to. Guys don’t usually do that. The mind of a man and that of a woman are differently wired and thus, work more differently than you might think.

So when your guy tells you that he has something on his mind or seems irritated, angry or negative, leave him alone. This is because men think alone in silence.

The biggest mistake a girl can do while a man is working on something is to call him incessantly or start a long chat with him on sms/messages. Ladies, it will drive your man crazy and though he might reply every time and pickup your calls because he genuinely cares for you, he will not be the same.

Girls on the other hand want emotional support when they are sad or are working on something. So if she is doing something, your girl would expect you to be there for her every second of your being. That’s because your physical or emotional proximity matters to her.

However, when girls assume that what they need must be the same thing that their guy needs, they start ‘caring’ for him and that’s when he starts getting pissed off!

There is no one to be blamed because when a guy is having a hard time, he needs to be alone. So when he sees his girl being upset, mad or just ‘acting up,’ he leaves her alone to sort out her issues because that is what he thinks is best for her, and because he does the same and is cool with it.

The girl however feels abandoned and retreats into cold silence for a long time. She doesn’t call, she doesn’t text and she doesn’t initiate any kind of contact. The guy is happy and thinks that it’s a good thing that she is getting time to think, big mistake man! When you call her, she is going to blame you for leaving her alone when she needed your ‘care.’ The guy is gonna be confused out of his wits and say, “Man, I just don’t get what these chicks want!”

So ladies, the next time when you guy is working or is going through an emotionally testing time, just leave him alone. Give him the permission and the approval of silent support. Tell him that you love him and are there for him whenever he needs you, but don’t call him or ask him too many questions just because you care. Leave him sms’s occasionally telling him how much you care, love him and respect him for his work, he will never let you down. If you can do this successfully, he will truly love you with everything he has got!

If you call him 10 times in a day just to tell him that you bought cute little yellow sandals which have pink polka dotted ribbons on them, or that your best friend said something to your other best friend, or just to tell him about your day because you don’t want him to miss out on anything, the truth is, that HE WANTS TO MISS OUT ON THIS KIND OF STUFF!

Men are simple creatures and derive happiness from doing simple things. Let him polish his car, let him hangout with his friends, let him be alone, just let him be.

Ankush Modawal, 27, is the author of 6 groundbreaking books. He is a Feng Shui and Law of Attraction Practitioner, has several successful businesses including an Haute Couture brand named Siren with designer Purnima RahejaYou can stalk him on Twitter @ankushmodawal